fuck

thinking about life and its guts yeah, life has guts - lots of disgusting guts and gross elements, some nice stuff but oh so much crap-filled intestine that it is almost unbearable trying to remain positive, trying to remain good, trying to remain a friend after you have been mis-treated no can do no can fucking do ya hear me??? no can fucking do!!! first you get put into shit then you get dragged in shit then you get dipped in shit then you get soaked in shit then you get seen obviously - when you get seen after all this shit - you look shitty so your extended hand of friendship is avoided like the shit it's been dunked in oh fuck!!! fuckety fuck fuck fuck and ya know whaaaaaaaa... even the extensive amount of fuck does not change the fuckety feeling ... hope it is worth it in the long run ...

Houston, we have a crash

Yes, how things have changed ... in a bizarre twist of fate, I was made privy to information nobody shares with ease, I guessed the info by the interlocutor's demeanor and I got outraged. Was I right? I do not know this, I just felt absolutely horrid ... I got upset and got into the whole she-bang - I listened and listened, I tried to remain impartial but I could not ... I tried to be positive and show positives but it was hard ... Was I right? Nobody knows this ... I know for a fact that I lost a good friend, I lost touch with the person (maybe not ideal human being) but the person who helped me live through a lot of stuff ..., I lost the person who was like a sibling to me (I resigned to sibling love when I realised love is not on the cards) Was I right? I will never know this ... I only know that feelings are hard to control, I only know that emotions are force beyond my level of will-power, I only know that this will cause a long period of mourning ... not easy to have sold your mind, heart and soul to the devil and then lost it in a bet with the devil's wife ... goodbye brother, you were an impostor yeah, fuck off silly brain, over and out, Houston, we have a crash ...